I do confess, three weeks ago I did not know who Michael Phelps was. I don't watch swimming. I didn't follow the '04 games. And apparently, I'm French. But this past week I had the opportunity to watch the guy, and well, I'm convinced he was raised by dolphins. If sharks went to the movies, there would be a scary summer blockbuster about a shark-eating man, and it would be called, "PHELPS." Dun-dun. Watching the Amphibian Olympian* was a truly inspiring experience for me. One morning this week I was watching him leave mere mortals in his majestic wake and I said to myself, "Ya know, if Michael Phelps can win a bajillion gold medals, I should be able to shower in less than five minutes." So I timed myself. Four minutes, 25 seconds. Thanks Michael! I never knew I had it in me. Okay other thoughts I've been having lately: If I was a member of the men's gymnastics team, and I had a really lousy routine, I think on my way back to the dugout (or whatever you call it in gym), I would just say to myself, "Oh well, at least I have rock-hard abs and monstrous biceps." Seriously, did you watch those guys? Let's be honest. The women's gymnastics team from China averaged about 12 years old, except for the captain, who I think is 20. I think one of them may have been in the single-digits still. They were good, no one denies that. But won't they still be just as good four or eight years from now when they're old enough to legitimately compete? Just sayin'. The truest optimists are always prepared for the worst -- even better prepared than pessimists I would say, because optimists are always ready to see the good in the worst situations. I hope I never become one of these people who can get angry just by sitting around. Have you ever seen them? That can't be a good way to live. COMPLETELY off-topic, but something I've been meaning to say: The Dark Knight is the first movie I've ever seen where calling it "badass" wouldn't really do it justice. *I thought of it myself. I know -- genius.